Sonny's birth story

I'm going to begin in the week before Sonny was born as after a pretty healthy pregnancy, things took a turn for the worse in the final days leading up to labour.

I had a very straight forward pregnancy, I trained throughout and managed to stay very active. I had a lot of sickness and nausea for the first 3 months as well as headaches and generally feeling wiped out and extremely tired. Things improved over the second trimester and into the third I developed carpal tunnel syndrome. Although very uncomfortable and at times painful, it didn't bother me too much, apart from I couldn't use my hands very well! I had a lot of water retention and this probably contributed to it.

In the last week I picked up a cold which was possibly one of the worst I'd ever had. My sinuses were blocked and painful, I lost hearing in one ear, I had a painful sore throat and cough. Basically imagine getting the worst version of every cold symptom all in one! I was back and forth to doctors who prescribed antibiotics which of course didn't really help and I felt extremely ill.

It was the Saturday before Sonny was born on the Monday and I was out for lunch with my husband. I was past my due date and my husband had taken holidays from work so we were filling in the days.

We were sitting at the table in the cafe and I was suddenly aware of parts of my face going numb. I said to Ben "I'm not being funny, but is my face drooping?" He couldn't see but I remember going to the toilet and looking in the mirror and feeling something wasn't right. By evening my face had completely sunk on one side and was paralysed. One eye wouldn't close and my mouth drooped making me slur my words. I honestly thought I'd had a stroke.

We phoned nhs 24 and were given an appointment around 9pm that night.

Thank god for the doctor there who was fantastic and diagnosed a virus which had caused all my symptoms. He randomly asked if I had any rashes - now I'd had an extremely painful rash on my shoulder but simply hadn't connected it. Turns out it was shingles! I was put on a combination of more anti biotics, anti viral drugs and steroids. Naturally I was extremely worried about any of this affecting the baby.

Things like this can often happen to women in pregnancy as your immune system is so low and prioritises the baby first. However you don't know that when it happens to you and this is your first pregnancy. I wondered why everything weird and freaky always had to happen to me?! The next day was horrible and I remember having a huge crying fit, sitting on our doorstep sobbing to my husband. I know now this could have been due to the hormone surge you get just before labour begins. He was meeting his parents and daughter for lunch at a hotel and I just couldn't bear going. My own parents came in to be with me and we took the dog for a walk which made me feel much better. That night my husband, parents and I all went for a curry and I wonder if this helped me go into labour!

At 3am that night - Monday 23rd May 2016 I woke thinking I had wet myself. I didn't feel panicked, I was quite calm and had a feeling things were happening. I got up, washed and changed and crept downstairs to make a cup of tea.

I'm going to say here that my mum had very quick labours so I always had a feeling that I would too.

I got on my birthing ball with my cup of tea and felt super smug with how I was coping. This was going to be a breeze! I didn't even think about my face I was just so excited. Very quickly things ramped up and the contractions came faster and with more intensity. Around 4.30am I rang the midwives unit who told me to take paracetamol and wait. I'd read somewhere that if you're struggling to breathe through contractions it means things are getting serious, and by 6am this was happening. I woke my husband - with a cup of coffee I might add, still feeling smug like I was doing so well here!! He saw how bad the contractions were and after timing them - less than a minute apart - we got ready and jumped in the car.

Things suddenly ramped up again in the car and typical it was the start of rush hour traffic. Longest. Journey. Ever.

We got to the mid wife unit and by this time contractions had me doubled over. We made it in and were told to wait in the corridor. It was now I began to panic a little. Right from the first phonecall it was clear the midwives didn't believe I was anywhere near birth. If it's your first baby it's not often quick so they had a very easy-osy attitude. "Aw you'll be fine..." Whilst I was thinking "I'm not effing fine, this baby is coming SOON"

As it turns out all the beds were full - yup, no room at the inn folks, so we were left.

In the corridor.

For around 2 hours.

It's a bit of a blur to me now, I was in so much pain and was aware of midwives scuttling past and not wanting to help.

Finally we got a room and I begged for pain relief but still they didn't take me seriously. I asked them to check how dilated I was and reluctantly, one finally agreed.

8 cm.

Ok so she was serious after all. I was given gas and air which I felt did nothing apart from give me something to focus on and also morphine however I regret this now as again I felt it didn't help pain and just left me spaced out.

Sonny came very quickly and I remember they were still pulling their aprons on and scrambling for trays. Thankfully the birth itself was quick, he was delivered naturally and I only had secondary tears.

We thought everything was fine and were left with him for around four hours until the midwife came and said he was breathing funny. He'd begun making little rasping noises. A paediatrician came in and in a matter of minutes our little baby was whisked away to special care in an incubator. I bitterly regret not spending each of those hours before they took him away just holding him.

At this point everyone seemed to realise that actually I was not very well and it might affect the baby. He was put on the same drugs as me as a precaution and I was moved to a private ward as I could've been infectious to other mums.

That first day and night I spent in hospital were some of the worst in my life. I wasn't allowed to see him incase of infection and not being able to see or hold your new baby for over 24 hours is simply the most soul destroying feeling I've ever had. I felt like I was being punished. I just cried and cried. I had to wait for my husband to come and tell me how he was but when he went home I had no way of really knowing. I kept thinking of him stuck in that box with no human contact - the nurses fed him through holes with gloves and I worried so much about him not having cuddles.

Thankfully Sonny had latched and had some early meconium before he was taken away so my focus became on breastfeeding and pumping like a mad woman. At first you can only gather a tiny syringe full so I did this day and night to get my supply started and get my milk to him. They had bottle fed him in neo natal as well as giving him the milk I brought down.

After an agonising day or two finally I was allowed to see him, I think partly because they saw how upset I was. We were allowed to visit but still not touch him. A few days later we were allowed to help bottle feed him through the holes and eventually he was then brought up to the ward with me. Amazingly although we were separated all that time and he was bottle fed for his first few days of life, he still latched easily and we successfully breastfed for 6 months. We were extremely lucky.

After numerous tests they didn't find anything wrong with Sonny but they had detected an infection, they just couldn't pin point what, so after a week in hospital we were finally allowed home. I had begun to recover very quickly after birth and Sonny was a strong and healthy baby.

It’s not exactly a straight forward birth story but I'm eternally grateful that it had a happy ending and although it was an extremely tough few days, I know now that lots of other mums have babies who need to go to neo natal and there are often complications to deal with in the first few days. I hope reading this this might help someone whose birth was less than simple.

Funnily enough I now look back on the whole thing with fond memories, it brought us our beautiful happy little boy. I just hope this next pregnancy will go a little more smoothly! x